From James Smith:
Before conversion...
"I had no good desires--no holy aspirations--no redeeming qualities.
I was a rebel against God's government--and a traitor against God's crown! I would have destroyed
God if I could--and blotted His name out of creation! The language of my heart and life was, "No God for me!" My heart was filled and fired with enmity against Him, and at times I could have cursed Him to His face! I hated His law. I despised His gospel. I abhorred His people. If I could--I would have crushed His cause!
How astonishing that such a wretch was allowed to live!
How astonishing that God had not crushed me by His power, and sentenced me to Hell!
But, O the patience and the sovereign grace of God! He bore with me. He loaded me with His benefits. He determined to win me with His love. Nevertheless I sinned yet the more, and provoked Him with my ungodly conduct. O how surprising that I am not in Hell! Surely there are many already in Hell--who were never such great sinners as I have been!
But, the Lord is good, ready to forgive, and plenteous in mercy unto all who call upon Him. He put a cry into my heart, He listened to that cry--and made me a new creature in Christ Jesus. He unveiled my enormous wickedness before the eyes of my mind, which filled me with confusion, despondency, and shame. He laid me in the dust, and seemed to doom me to despair. He . . . crushed my proud spirit, destroyed my infernal enmity against Him, and melted me into contrition with His love."
Before conversion...
"I had no good desires--no holy aspirations--no redeeming qualities.
I was a rebel against God's government--and a traitor against God's crown! I would have destroyed
God if I could--and blotted His name out of creation! The language of my heart and life was, "No God for me!" My heart was filled and fired with enmity against Him, and at times I could have cursed Him to His face! I hated His law. I despised His gospel. I abhorred His people. If I could--I would have crushed His cause!
How astonishing that such a wretch was allowed to live!
How astonishing that God had not crushed me by His power, and sentenced me to Hell!
But, O the patience and the sovereign grace of God! He bore with me. He loaded me with His benefits. He determined to win me with His love. Nevertheless I sinned yet the more, and provoked Him with my ungodly conduct. O how surprising that I am not in Hell! Surely there are many already in Hell--who were never such great sinners as I have been!
But, the Lord is good, ready to forgive, and plenteous in mercy unto all who call upon Him. He put a cry into my heart, He listened to that cry--and made me a new creature in Christ Jesus. He unveiled my enormous wickedness before the eyes of my mind, which filled me with confusion, despondency, and shame. He laid me in the dust, and seemed to doom me to despair. He . . . crushed my proud spirit, destroyed my infernal enmity against Him, and melted me into contrition with His love."
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